


Coming Back

by Groot_the_tree



Series: Edgar Allen Poe prompts [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Jim Moriarty is a Little Shit, M/M, Making Up, Poor Sebastian, Post-Reichenbach, References to Drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:21:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Groot_the_tree/pseuds/Groot_the_tree
Summary: Written from an Edgar Allen Poe prompt on tumblr.The Cask of Amontillado: betrayal, grudge, broken trust.Jim returns to Sebastian around a year after Reichenbach and they discuss their relationship and the future.
Relationships: Sebastian Moran/Jim Moriarty
Series: Edgar Allen Poe prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767934
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	Coming Back

It started with the fall. Of course, it did. Everything started there the same as it ended there. Jim was dead. He shot himself while standing on that roof all because of the messed up power play with Sherlock Holmes that he was calling a game. Sebastian hated it.

He was alone now. There was no work, no job. He had no income, no one to keep him sane, no reason to live.

His days were spent sitting in the sad excuse of a flat where he now lives staring at the wall, drinking, smoking, doing anything harder he could get his hands on.

Jim had said he would make it back alive. They had made plans for when Sherlock was out of the way. They had talked about so much and had their lives planned out. Now, he can’t help but wonder if Jim meant any of that. Did he know this was going to happen and just tell Sebastian that stuff to throw him off from what Jim was really planning? Or maybe it was a mistake, something he hadn’t originally planned.

No, Jim Moriarty didn’t make mistakes.

He doesn’t want to admit that Jim would have done all this on purpose and lie to him like that but it was the only option, wasn’t it? As much as it hurt he has to accept that.

He had spent the first weeks after the…after he left, wishing he would come back, asking him to, praying for him to come back. But now, he doesn’t even think about that. He won’t allow himself to even hope that it could happen. That would hurt too much. And so, to numb the pain, he ventures out of his flat for the first time in weeks to find something harder and stronger than what he has in his flat with the little money he has left in his pocket. It has to be enough to put him out of his misery. It has to be.

Making his way into the building, no one questions him. He’s been seen around here enough for them to know him by now, know that he was quiet, kept to himself and he looked just rough enough to belong. What was once muscle was now mostly bones, he always had a stubble but now it was a little more grown in, he was unhealthily thin and his arms showing signs of the new habits he’s picked up, bruises, rashes, scars. He’s not proud of the man he is now but he doesn’t care. There’s no one that can look at him now and tell who he was before the death of Jim. That’s the way he would like to keep it.

He’s quick to make the purchase and pulls out a needle that he’s had in his pocket, most likely already used, no need to worry about diseases when he’s dying though, so he carries on.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” A voice, distinctly Irish, says from a dark corner.

It automatically makes Sebastian freeze and slowly looks up to where the sound had come from.

“Why not?” He replies, “What does it matter to you?”

“Because I don’t like my Tigers to look one step away from death. You know that by now.” Jim replies, stepping out to where he could be better seen.

Sebastian looks at him, going into more of a battle stance which had lost it’s effect entirely with how thin and sick he now looks. “You lost the right to say and make decisions in my life a long time ago.” He says, his voice deep, rough. “You made it clear what your plans were and then you turned your back on them and on me. I don’t give a damn what you like anymore, Moriarty. You can go to hell.” He responds and turns to walk out. If he couldn’t die in peace here he’d return to his flat and do it there.

“Oh, come on, Sebastian, don’t.” Jim states as though Sebastian’s anger was just an annoyance to him, a waste of time.

“It’s been months Jim.” He wasn’t sure how long it’s been. Staring at a wall, drinking, doing drugs, none of that involved dates, or even knowing the time. If the sun wasn’t shining right now he would think it was three a.m. he never needed to know. “You could have said. You could have told me, SOMETHING. I waited, I wanted you back. You made plans, you turned your back on them.”

“I planned, waited, and came back to continue on with those plans.” Jim replies, “Can we go somewhere that isn’t full of this lowlife scum to talk?” He asks, making a disgusted face.

“If you don’t want that around then you would be going by yourself.”

“You don’t count, now come on.” He stands, grabbing Sebastian’s arm and dragging him down from the building and into a car that was waiting by the street. He pushes Sebastian in first then climbs in beside him.

“I know I should have said something. I do, but I couldn’t risk what I was doing and I didn’t exactly have time to explain. Sherlock was on to me and I had to fake my death. It was the only choice. If there was another way, I would have taken it but he knew that my being alive up there meant there was a way to call off the snipers I had positioned. If I was gone the only choice he had was to die as well.” Jim explains, “I should have told you that what happened was a possibility but I didn’t think it would happen and I didn’t want to worry you or have you try to talk me out of it.”

Sebastian nods, listening. It made a little more sense. But the thought that Jim didn’t think it would happen didn’t add up. He was refusing to believe that. The thought that it wasn’t the plan he originally had though makes it a little easier, as does the thought that he didn’t tell Sebastian because he just didn’t have the time. Faking your death would be a time-consuming thing, right?

“You still should have told me that it could have come up. If you had followed by saying you would fake your death and be gone a while then I wouldn’t have stopped you. I would only stop you if you were going to actually die. Or at least text me. I quick photo or ‘not dead’ wouldn’t have taken that long and an explanation, while it would have been nice, wouldn’t have been mandatory.”

“I know that now,” Jim replies, of course, he knows that after Sebastian tells him.

They both take a moment, sitting in silence, neither looking at the other, both thinking things over. After a moment, Jim speaks up.

“Now that that’s over, we can continue on with those plans.” He informs Sebastian, very confident, letting the other know that they could do that now, he was ready.

“No.” Sebastian replies, “It’s not going to be that easy Jim.” He looks over at him, “I’ve given you my trust. I gave you so much and, even if it wasn’t what you had planned or your intention, you did break that. You know I’m not someone who trusts easily and you know why, yet you did that. It’s not going to be so simple to just continue on as we were before all this. I need to know I can trust you and right now, I’m not so sure I can.”

Jim nods, listening to him and taking a deep breath, “Okay. Well, do you still want to try with this?” He asks, taking Sebastian’s hand in his own, showing what he meant.

Sebastian nods in response. “I do. Of course, I do. But I think we need to start with rebuilding and not trying to add on to what we had before. Because there’s a lot of that missing.”

“There’s a lot of you missing.” Jim counters, looking the man over.

“That there is. There was 5’8 of me missing for about a year. And yeah, losing someone you consider your life does leave people missing a reason to live.” He admits.

“I’m sorry.” Jim whispers, “For what it’s worth.”

That actually meant more than Sebastian had expected it to. He had just realized that it was the first time the man had ever apologized to him. “Thank you, Jim. It means a lot, actually.”

They both knew that this wasn’t going to just go away on its own. Especially now that Sebastian had told Jim that. It was going to be a problem for years to come. Something that Sebastian will be throwing in Jim’s face, bringing up in their fights. They both learn to live with it, knowing it was just a sign that it hurt, that sometimes he still misses all those months that he didn’t have Jim for. And Jim saw it as a sign of love, that even if he did miss up, Sebastian loved him enough to go through months without him and try their relationship again after he had done one of the stupidest things of his life.

They would be okay, eventually, when that trust was regained, when they knew they could rely on each other when Sebastian was sure that Jim wasn’t going to run away from him again, they would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was...a thing.  
> kudos and comments are welcomed.


End file.
